she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Randomize
