yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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