you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
