Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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