Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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