dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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