Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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