Hey man sorry I got all grabby
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
