Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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