All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize