I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
