alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
