He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Actions speak louder than pants.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Randomize
