a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize
