Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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