I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
