a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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