i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm sobbing to NWA
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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