omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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