This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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