Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
