He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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