hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
