I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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