some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
