I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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