I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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