Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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