Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He did a backflip because drugs
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize