Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Randomize
