i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
