so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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