look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
