I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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