Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
