and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
