escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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