the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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