she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
