if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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