Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Randomize
