No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
This baby is an asshole
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
