i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
