first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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