Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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