Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
