Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize