This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
