Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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