She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Alive.
So much puke
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
