yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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