weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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