Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize