bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
