this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
