If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
